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August 27, 2012
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                                                            Ch.6
When Stephano opened his eyes,his vision was blured and he was dizzy.He looked around and and sat up.Felix waked up to the side of the bed and smiled,

"Im glad your ok.You got us very worried."

"Were are we?"Stephano asked looking around.

"I think were somewhere in the west side of the castle."

Mr.Chair walked in the doorway with a smile on his face.

"Your wounds were taken care of when you were asleep."Mr.Chair said pointing to his chest.

Stephano then noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt,and he looked at Felix with a questoning look.

"Your shirt was torn,and it wasn't fixable.So..."Felix smiled sheepishly and pointed to the closet wich held some white dress shirts.

Stephano sighed.

"You are kidding me,yes?"Stephano asked looking at him.

Felix rubbed the back of his neck and smiled.

"Fine..."

Stephano stood and walked over to the closet,grabbed a shirt,and slipped it on.It fit surprisingly well.

"Shall we continue?"Stephano asked looking at Mr.Chair.

"I dont see why not."Felix said."I'll go get the others."

When the group was together,they moved the bookshelf out of the way of the door and walked out.

When Felix opened the door,a long corridoor stretched out in front of them.

"I hate coridoors..."Felix growled.

Mr.Chair sighed lightly and walked forward,then a loud buzzing noise was heard.

"Wha-"Daggers flew out from the side walls of the coridoor.Stephano tackled Mr.Chair to the ground as the daggers impailed the walls.

Stephano and Mr.Chairstood up,and dusted themselves off.Stephano looked at the ground and found a note.He read it aloud.

"Watch your step..."
sorry about the wait,School sucks the life out of me.Well,here you go.
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:iconorca18dolphin:
Orca18Dolphin Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012
i read the rest of the chapters. looking forward to more :)
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:iconangelofdarkness1254:
angelofdarkness1254 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you.Im going to try and write a new chapter Monday,no promises though.:)
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:iconrunemoffatt:
RuneMoffatt Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012
Alright then. Pewdiepie x Stephano an odd and different couple, with that said i'm not saying its a bad couple, I have no issue with boyxboy stories. The main 'issue' here is the lack of description, there is potential for this developing story. Instead of just writing '"Were are we?"Stephano asked looking around', You could have wrote'"Where... Where are we?"Stephano wearily asked looking around the crooked, wooden room. The windows glass panes cracked and moss covered, the moons natural light peaking through the green mess' ((that is if this story is based at night, could easily work with the sun as well)). Little details can make the story more interesting. Next there are some minor spelling errors, I've also noticed it in other chapters. Then there is the length of the chapters, they don't necessarily need to be long, but its good to have a nice portion to read. The name of the story itself 'Golden Body, Golden Soul'. Its different, defiantly not a dull title, draws the reader in. A metaphor perhaps?
Well that's all I have to say, I hope my words will help you :)
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:iconangelofdarkness1254:
angelofdarkness1254 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
That was very helpful!thank you for the example!Im trying to make longer chapters in the limited time spans I have available.Thank you,and I will try and improve!X3
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:iconrunemoffatt:
RuneMoffatt Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012
I'm glad my words are helpful. If you need any help with the story, i'd be more than happy to lend a hand :)
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:iconangelofdarkness1254:
angelofdarkness1254 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
thank you!I was practicing my writing last night and It looks a bit better than the story I've posted so far.=3
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:iconrunemoffatt:
RuneMoffatt Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012
I have to say i'm quite eager for the next chapter to come out ^^
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:iconangelofdarkness1254:
angelofdarkness1254 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
You are?Im going to try and continue writing it Monday.
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:iconrunemoffatt:
RuneMoffatt Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012
Of course I am! And thats good :) Just make sure you dont rush it
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:iconangelofdarkness1254:
angelofdarkness1254 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I won't.I'm making crafts!=3 It is very fun.
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